“Team meeting, NOW!” Jack shouted to the team, while fighting his way past Gwen who was wandering aimlessly.
He entered the boardroom and placed the 4 bags he had down on the desk. The rest of the team traipsed in and sat down.
“Jack? What’s going on?” Gwen sat heavily into her seat.
“I have a surprise for you.”
Owen sighed “I have a feeling this isn’t going to result in a day off…”
“Uniforms” Jack grinned.
“You what?” Owen looked at jack horrified.
“Torchwood uniforms.”
“Oh god…”
Gwen and Tosh looked at each other with “Oh god save me” eyes. Ianto sniggered.
Jack handed each of the team a bag with their name on.
The team opened their bags. They all had basically the same uniform in different variations.
“How did I know.” Ianto laughed as he pulled out a pair of very short black shorts, a tight black T-shirt and a version of the UNIT cap in black with the Torchwood T on it and “JACK’S PROPERTY – HANDS OFF!” on it.
Gwen and Tosh had black tank tops with shorts and knee high black converse as well as a black cap, Tosh’s said “Trust me, I’m a genius” and Gwen’s said “Interfering Bitch.”
Owen had a black T-shirt with black shorts, rainbow leggings, black combat boots and his cap said “Grumpy Git.” On it.
Owen didn’t look to pleased with the fact he was the only one with the slightest bit of colour on his uniform, and he really wasn’t happy.
“So what’s your uniform then Harkness?”
“Oh you’ll see soon enough.”
“That’s not fair! You get to do ‘the big reveal’ and we don’t, not that I care or anything…”
“Oh shut up Owen. Also Wednesdays are Naked Wednesdays.”
“No! I’m not doing that…”
“Its naked Wednesdays or you’re fired.”
“Fine…”
“Right I need you to all go change now.”
“Right now? I was in the middle of some paper work.”
“Ianto, paper work can wait, right now I need you all in those uniforms.”
The team traipsed out of the board room all looking rather glum.
“Ianto, can I have a word?” Jack grabbed Ianto’s arm.
“Sure what was it?”
“Is there any chance you could wear red your tie?”
“Why?.”
“Because I said so.”
“I suppose I could.” Ianto pulled away from Jack and went to leave the room.
“Ianto.”
“Yes?”
“Come back here.”
“Why?”
“Just do.”
Ianto wandered back to Jack who grabbed him by his jacket collar and gave him a quick kiss.
“That’s still harassment, sir.”
“Oh this isn’t even the beginning, wait until you get in that uniform.” Jack let go of Ianto’s coat.
“I’ll go and change then shall I” Ianto started towards the door. “Oh and Jack. Where am I going to keep a gun in this uniform?”
“Oh I’m sure we can think of somewhere.” Jack smirked and Ianto left the room laughing to himself.


A few weeks later.

“Owen, Tosh, Gwen. WE NEED BACK UP, NOW!”
“Is there more than one weevil?” Tosh’s voice was distant in Jack’s ear as he and Ianto ran as fast as they could down an alleyway.
“No!”
“Then what is it Jack?” Gwen sounded panicky.
“WE’RE BEING CHASED BY FANGIRLS!”
Owen’s laughter could be heard over the comms. “Serves you right for going ‘weevil hunting’ in shorts that look like they’ve been painted on. We did warn you about the fangirls.”
All that could be heard over the comms was the screams of Jack and Ianto and the fangirls all shouting at each other to tie them up.


Gwen and Owen put Jack and Ianto into their mortuary draws and started on the death certificates.
“So what do we write as the cause of death?” Gwen asked.
“Death by fangirl.”